Unless this is a pattern from them, try reaching out to your friend and checking in on whats going on. "You ____ like a girl." 3. Hurtful is an adjective and means to cause distress or injury to another's feelings; causing pain or suffering, especially of the mental nature; it can also mean danger to biodiversity. 6. But what it sounds like is, "I don't care about whatever you have to say.". underrated, disrespected, expelled, excommunicated. You don't want to go there. This list helps me to sum up what I want to describe, as opposed to sulking about others incorrect perceptions and doing nothing about them. You are making a big deal out of nothing. Its an online background check and tracker tool. If youre going to come at a guy with these hurtful words, theres every chance hell come at you twice as hard. What to Do with Them, Should I Say Happy Birthday to My Ex? Well-meaning friends and family have reinforced this idea for the past 30 years. It is rude to shut someone up while theyre still talking but even worse when you yell it. He loves looking at himself in the mirror. I was then told by my parents that I had to just accept it, deal with it and tolerate the injustice, discrimination, judgement based on a siblings choices. However, its a different kind of hurt when people around us define us by them. What to Get A Sagittarius Woman for Her Birthday -Give Her A Surprise! Maybe you should let this one stay in your imagination. Less heavy words have kept people down mentally. It's meant to make them look like they are disturbing nobodies. If you take a second assessment before dropping that selfish comment, you'll realize you aren't the only one doing everything in your home. She wields it with the precision of a surgeon. Now, making your man feel terrible for your bad action, that's an advanced level of being mean. So, I came about to be a relationship advice writer! Do you have a word for hurt that is missing? Are you looking for a way to really get under his skin, so that he regrets ever messing with you? At her age, I do not see her changing. Your boyfriend is not your child, so there's no point trying to make him feel like he's a toddler just because you want him to do something your way. For starters, dress the part. This says its always something with you, or any other thing that suggests your patience is wearing thin. Something sexy but not trashy. If he truly drops dead, you could be a suspect. It is very important to choose your words, situation and person all very carefully when expressing feelings. He sees the bad side in everybodys personality and actions. While this would ordinarily not be an insult, it can be if you present it maliciously. Im writing to ask for advice. 26. Aro769: Anyone who ever loved you was wrong. Whether it's with your friends or boyfriend, it's a mean way of telling them they should accept your bad attitude the way you are because you will never change. It's one thing if he's giving you strong reasons to suspect he's cheating, but when you just throw it at him that you don't trust him for no reason, now that's heart-wrenching. Young people on the autism spectrum may experience difficulty understanding the social consequences of their words and actions. I couldnt trust them. Springing two huge news on one person in one breath with no prior notice? My entire existence was invalidated first by my family, later by numerous others who entered my life. It's not only mean and disrespectful, it's got a good-digging ring to it. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Running On Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect, https://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2016/03/5-reasons-forgiveness-does-not-work/, 5 Roadblocks to Dating Caused By Childhood Emotional Neglect, How Old Feelings From Your Childhood Could Be Controlling You Now, How to Use Your Emotions: 3 Real-Life Examples, 3 Powerful New Years Resolutions Specially Designed To Heal Your Emotional Neglect, My Dear Black Sheep, 3 Things You Must Know, How To Overcome Abandonment Issues From Childhood, How Childhood Emotional Neglect Affects Your Adult Friendships, How to Deal With Your Emotionally Neglectful Parents. All your advice is helping me so much , i have a better understanding of myself . Yes, a good one. This is up there among words that would definitely be too painful to hear for anyone. He won't get over it in a hurry. When we need to communicate a feeling we are having to another person, or even simply name it for ourselves, it is vital to be able to label it in a subtle and accurate way. Ive had some wonderful counsellors who have made such a difference to my life. lack, lackadaisical, lacked, lackey, lackeys, lacking, lackluster, lacks, laconic, lag, lagged, lagging, lags, laid-off, lambast, lambaste, lame, lame-duck, lament, lamentable, lamentably, languid, languish, languor, languorous, languorously, lanky, lapse, lapsed, lapses, lascivious, last-ditch, latency, laughable, laughably, laughingstock, You can get the definition (s) of a word in the list below by tapping the question-mark icon next to it. Reached rock bottom and now say a confident no. Again, belittling a guy because you don't want to go out with him is mean. This could make you feel disgusted to say such words. Shaming her for trying too hard to attract attention can have the same effect. Dont bottle it all up, do find someone to talk to they ARE out there. The words at the top of the list are the ones most associated with hurtful, and as you go down the relatedness becomes more slight. You sometimes remind me of a past I hate. If I start telling someone how I feel, they look blank and generally change the subject. You might think you're being honest, but it's mean coming from you that's the closest person to him. This statement is a huge slap on his ego and intellect. I dont believe for a minute that you are a bad person, just horrendously neglected and misled and badly treated. Call a therapist. I feel ashamed, ashamed that I could never tell anyone about the sexual abuse I suffered as a child. I wish I could have a man as funny as you. Whether you say it about her behavior or personality, being called boring or dry isnt exactly a compliment. You should put a condom on your head, because if you're going to act like a dick you better dress like one, too. I keep thinking you can't get any dumber, but then you like to prove me wrong. 9. You are a victim of abuse. There are millions of ways to tell a guy the sex wasn't all that great. In whatever way you have been a positive contribution to your partner's life, you don't have to be mean when displaying a God complex. When a person is sick, it usually makes others pity them. If it's frequent, you are sending a wrong message into the heart of the receiver. There's almost nothing more hurtful than when the person you love the most doesnt believe what you say. It deserves to be in the top 5. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Might as well leave it at you are worthless and just own your heartlessness. Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl (205 Open Ended Questions To Ask A Girl), How To Make A Girl Blush Over Text (101 Things To Say), How To Compliment A Girl Over Text (141 Ways), Qualities Of A Good Woman (29 Vital Qualities), How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips), Signs A Married Woman Wants You To Make A Move (23 Signs To Look For), How To Turn On A Woman With Words (155 Tips), 27 Obvious Signs A Woman Wants To Sleep With You, Reasons Why Pisces Man Loves Scorpio Woman (9 Interesting Reasons), If He Doesnt Introduce You To His Friends, What Does It Mean? Apart from food, sex, men have the innate desire to be saviors of women. A low self-esteemed guy might always look at himself in the mirror and never feel unlovable for anyone. However, it's a classic "I cannot date you" move. There's no point talking about it with you. Thank you for your work. Friends say some things that hurt each others feelings when upset, or use foul language more when they want their words to sting. List of Hurtful Words 12. What are you trying to do, start world war three? For partners with a poor self image, cruel words can send them to the edge. Perhaps you've got a clumsy guy for a boyfriend or husband; still, blaming him all the time for every happening in your relationship is not the best way to go. I got blamed for the abuse by my parents, who never suggested counselling, although they did help. Theres nothing positive about calling people slow or retarded, male or female. We have all been there. Give yourself some time to grieve your relationship. Aka, youre uptight. Not a cuss word. It's mean to react to his action with such an insensitive and condescending comment. They have an even bigger impact on a 5 . There is a certain order of words and phrases you should say to someone who has hurt you, and it's important to follow that order in order to get through to them. He told me I was bad and I genuinely believe he was right all those years ago. This is more painful when used during an argument or conversation about things in her life that are obviously important to her. Being able to show not only my passion for writing, but also my passion to help others in their relationships, means the absolute world to me and I hope to continue doing so. Dear Laura, you are not bad! Here are a few of the most hurtful things you can say to your partner - take advice from Aunty Alyce and don't use any of them. One final warning before we get into the list of mean things to say to a guy. Telling your man he has to take care of you but you don't have to do anything for him in return is just mean and selfish. You are useless. Imagine someone youre dating comes up to you and tells you this? They replay in your mind, spiking a sense of remembered pain. This behavior has been tolerated and I had to understand for the last 18 years, warping my sense of worthiness to be a part of the family. Ladies playfully call each other slut for fun nowadays, but that doesnt mean they want to hear it from a guy. I am so sorry youve been through all of this. In contrast, if the other person hurt you without just . But then again, hearing someone say they hate you isnt quite as painful as when they just dont care anymore. Let's consider how that might sound: "Wow, we are both really upset. We ran some of the words by anti-racism and. Unless your man is trying to conjure some ridiculous explanation as to why he had sex with your best friend, shut up is a mean and straightforward way of saying, "your feeling and opinions don't matter." Even worse, you find other men attractive. Trust me, it's a punch at your man's ego, unsupportive, and altogether insensitive. It's best to do away with comparisons. I attract men, jobs, and friends that reject me over and over. Likewise, comparing your relationship with another couple who seem to be doing better is a no-no. Also, be kind to his friends. Gaslighting is so terrible that experts call it a form of emotional abuse. To stop dismissing yourself is the most important thing! It is difficult not to think that if everyone else believes that my needs come last in all situations and that I have no right to set boundaries, then it must be true. Continually making a man feel he has to put up with your excesses because of the fear of losing more than half of what he owns is just plain wicked. 15. They're the kind of people who talk without thinking and hurt others without realizing (at least most of the time). This type of response in a conversation is sending a sign that you don't care. However, when you go for the "jugular" just because you want to get back at him, that's pretty mean and low. Still, it hurts to hear. As I can remember, my father was absent most of the time in my childhood. Whether it's in a good or bad way, your current partner doesn't want to feel like he's walking in the shadow of your past lover. I know its hard not to beat yourself up, I still do it sometimes, but please do find someone to talk to who does not judge emotions but will allow you to express how you feel without fear of being judged or accused. 75. I feel Abandoned, useless, overwhelmed, and incapable! More than half the time, we say mean things when we are upset, especially when we want to get back at someone we love or used to love us. Implying that shes only ever after the money is not nice to hear, especially when she expects better from you. He finds it difficult to make decisions so he often sticks with no decision.. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. I was the one that needed help but no one was there. 88.99.24.175 Excellent material to assist volunteer telephone crisis counselors another target audience maybe. A feeling Ive had numerous times throughout my life, in differing situations and relationships and the feeling of being dismissed continues. Her jokes are often sexual and rude. Okay, so this one is bad. I dont even get how being brilliant became an insult but then the way you say it also counts. Running it in their face will only further hurt them. I want to procede with my life without her but am too afraid to do so. Dear Kim, perhaps you are expecting rejection? Thats a dangerous path to tread, but Ive got your back. You might be a brutally honest person, but statements like these are too mean to say to your guy. I'll take all you own if you divorce me. If she has to wait too long for anything, she gets angry. Thank you! He might play it cool with you at first but may open a can of worms about it later. You can also try picking on everything she does and making her feel like less of a lady every chance you get. Some couples joke with this line a lot, but for the most part, it's not a nice thing to say. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. At this point of time, your frustrated self will start acting up and say things which you don't even mean. Asking if it's in when you know it's already in is a mean punch below the belt. If you are dating him, I bet it'll take many apologies to get him on the same page with you. You might have said it because it's genuinely not a good time to discuss the issue. Dear Nina and Brianna, please make sure you are not invalidating yourselves because that is what enables others to continue treating you that way also. That is a common feeling of people with CEN. synonyms for hurtful Compare Synonyms damaging dangerous destructive detrimental distressing harmful malicious nasty pernicious prejudicial unkind upsetting aching afflictive bad cutting deadly deleterious disadvantageous evil hurting mean mischievous nocuous noxious ominous poisonous spiteful wounding See also synonyms for: unhurtful Try not to be too blunt, thinking you are telling your man what you need. We provide resources that help you in your relationship, marriage, and dating life. And I also understand her obsession with my weight. "This makes me want to kill myself." 11. Whether you mean that in terms of money or her sex life, being called cheap is painful to hear, period. 8 Love never fails. Dear MCB, that adage is the epitome of CEN. Well, he's not going to flush them down the drain. I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. A list of the 100 most offensive slang words on The Online Slang Dictionary. Bugodi21: If you were anymore inbred you would be a sandwich. Im quite sure you deserve far better, and even special care and loving treatment above others because of what you have been through. That's like making him feel he doesn't have the initiative like your ex. Please keep working on doing that. Children are amazing. 17. Has it got to the point that youre searching the internet for mean things to say to him? On the other hand, telling people they arent female-enough because they dont show feminine care is just as bad. You must be a rebel! Even if you've made the decision to call the relationship quits, this is no phrase you want to throw at a guy you are dating. The most hurtful words I have ever heard I wish you were a boy. Breaking it off shouldn't be an opportunity to exchange toxic words. It makes me feel guilty that I couldnt show him compassion just because they have never shown me any. Marginalized and minimized, emotionally irrelevant. Dear Kira, it is your responsibility to put your own needs first, above everyone elses. "You're too sensitive.". Because it's not a big deal to you doesn't mean it's no big deal to your man. Some relationships may not last forever, even after you promise each other the "till death do us part" love." 45. You both have equal rights to your kids. Now thats mean. Your past lover isn't psychic, and your current boyfriend can't be too, so quit throwing your ex's prowess on your boyfriend's face, it's not pretty. Performance & security by Cloudflare. It's neither fair nor healthy for your relationship. This is how I feel when family members show no interest in knowing how I truly feel and when I try to explain am just made to feel I am bothering them or am wrong in how I feel or see things. Even the highest achiever in the room has moments of self-doubt. Fill that gap with loving, marrying, sleeping with, and you get the same reaction: hurt. He always talks about how brilliant he is and all the amazing things he does. This comment is another punch at the ego. Reminding him of his past failed effort is a slap at his mental capabilities, which will make him feel incapacitated around you. Be kind! (21 Things to Consider), 19 Signs You Have a Second Chance at Love with an Ex. Brian: Relaxes and smiles. Talk to your loved ones about your feelings and try to socialize more. One of the negative things you could say to a person that may affect them even after you call it quits is telling them they are not attractive anymore. Sigh. I am so glad Donna! Stanford says its goal is to eradicate "many forms of harmful language" and is divided into ten areas: ageism, ableist . It can also help to write the words on a piece of paper and burn it. Calling her heartless because of a decision she made in a situation thats obviously out of her hands is just mean. This is certainly not the worst thing to say to someone. Body-shaming isnt cool whether youre calling someone fat or skinny. Trust me, it's a punch at your man's ego, unsupportive, and altogether insensitive. Words hurt! Youll need a few of their personal details to get started. This is like telling her to calm down but worse. I feel that I am defective, forsaken, disowned, ostracized and that my sheer existence is regretted. When shes made plans, NOTHING can change them. Weve become very close friends these past years, and Im even going to be one of her bridesmaids, so I also feel guilty for my anger and my feelings in general. Cheating is already a wrong move. 97. Sometimes you dont want somebody shouting your bank balance out across a crowded office. This is offensive because it totally dismisses the reason for the drama and just aims to make her feel bad. You want to make sure your message is heard, understood, and acted upon. You can let the comparison stay in your head. I hear you, ditto. Sometimes this can be extreme, like racism, sexism or homophobia. Rejection is altogether hard to accept sometimes. If you told him that youd just been invited to Tom Cruises space station party on the moon, hed believe you. To make matters worse, name-calling happens a lot and can encourage that behavior in your . You might think you are being yourself when you use these lines, but this is something people do when they don't want to reach a compromise. When you do this to a guy, you'll no doubt strike a nerve. He actually enjoys seeing other people in pain and sometimes creates that pain. If the height of your compliment for a woman is always that shes ok (read: average), youre already doing a good job of hurting her. Eight years later and I remember it just like it was yesterday. Simply post it in a comment on this blog. If you want to end up in a womans black book for life, call her fake. I understand. For instance, researchers have found that most cultures have words for seven basic emotions: joy, fear, anger, sadness, disgust, shame and guilt. No, sadly, it can be the same in America. She probably feels different from other people already, calling her weirdo will only upset her and make her withdraw even further. Still, if you were wondering what to say to a girl thats almost guaranteed to hurt her feelings, here are 103 examples. She always sees the negative side of things. How to confront hurtful words. You not only succeeded in making him feel inadequate, but you may also have permanently killed his pride. You clearly can't give a woman an orgasm. "It was just a joke." 7. I realize I was fortunate and did not experience this, but I do believe that gaslighting or I was gaslit should be added to the list, esp since it now seems to be common in the modern vernacular. This is a low-low, especially if she told you stuff about her mom in confidence. It's supposed to be a loving relationship, not an agent-footballer arrangement. Being compared to your ex would hurt her and most likely make her leave you. Thats mean. Even if its for fun. Frequently throwing this type of statement at him will break his heart and make it difficult for you guys to get better. It's not uncommon for women to feel we are better than men at most domestic chores. Do not judge, intimidate or threaten them. Please share it! They are so well meaning though and if I confront them it only results in their feeling being hurt which causes me to then have to add guilt and sad to the list. Whether your boyfriend never met your relationship expectations from the start of your goals changed, it's mean and insensitive not to give some encouragement, especially when he's trying his best. When your partner is upset and you brush them off by insisting they're "too sensitive" or "too emotional," you're minimizing their feelings. The Americas, the guide points out, is made up of 42 countries. 6 Sl**. Even if you dont mean permanently, being asked to be left alone by someone you care about can feel harsh. Id take someone telling me point blank that they hate me over indifference any day. Dismissed. I sometimes wonder at the reasons for it but I am not myself sufficiently dishonest to understand it. If you give him a task to do, he will mess it up (do it very badly). And Im 54! Trust me; you are the last person he wants to hear it from that he's losing his hair and perhaps becoming less attractive. If they could only see themselves! I grew up with a sibling with special needs, and to this day I continue to attract people with serious mental illnesses. First, the child with ASD may be less likely to say something encouraging or complimentary to another person. Pulling out an "alternative" without caring to know what's up with him is another "punch" where men don't like it. Reminded me so much of childhood. Saying they won't amount to anything without you is unnecessary. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Shes very fussy and wants everything to be the way. I actually kind of hate myself for even writing the words. 5 F****t. This word is extremely offensive. Use with caution. 82. Now, it doesn't sound like you wish your man is rich. Looking forward to reading your two CEN books, ordered yesterday. As normal as failure is, we still feel terrible when it happens to us. But, telling someone you regret meeting them is a whole new level of being a jerk. Best of all, its 100% discreet. "You're such a drama queen." 10. Theres a sickening list of mean things to say to a guy below. I guess it doesnt come as much of a surprise then that negative words dominate language instead of positive statements or things. Generally people like to ignore feelings and pretend they dont exist. 2. Sounds like some good things to work on, Alison. He may even complain and say some weird things to you. Hopefully your suggestions about a res ponse to this double-bind situation will help. But that doesnt mean we want to go around hearing about it from people. hurtful: mysterious: kind: nasty: pragmatic: loving: obnoxious: regretful: open.. 13. . 33 likes Like "Strange how mean words can return to ones thoughts, years after they've been callously thrown at you. Find hundreds of additional emotion words in the extensive Emotion Words List in the back of the book Running On Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect. Hi Sarah, this is one of my favorite blogs. I am left feeling guilty because I didnt like him when he died, but that makes me feel so bad. This statement might seem harmless if you are addressing a constantly nagging boyfriend. He likes telling you what to do like a boss. The following are some hurtful words you should avoid saying to people: wimp, whore, slut, gay, dyke, retarded, stupid, dumb, try-hard, useless, worthless, midget, weirdo, etc. Insults are forms of emotional violence. But to now use her friend? In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Failure isn't specific to a person, and anyone can fail. When bullies are confronted about their . Throwing it at his face all the time can be damaging to both his success and feelings. Being called lazy by someone whose opinions matter to you is not only painful to hear, but its also a quick way to lower a persons self-esteem. Hurtful is an adjective and means to cause distress or injury to anothers feelings; causing pain or suffering, especially of the mental nature; it can also mean danger to biodiversity. Bad things happen to me because of what Ive done and what Im like. Useless is a pretty cruel word to use for a person and should be reserved for a government that deserves it. He exaggerates the negative things you do. But this comment might make him feel like you don't like his look. Expressing disappointment in what your partner did is not the worst thing, but directing it at them directly? There are good experienced counsellors out there. I hope you find what you're looking for. 21. Telling someone they cant do something because its a mans job is not right, especially when said in that tone. Just as Childhood Emotional Neglect is alackof emotional attention, one of its most harmful effects is also alackof something: emotional skills and knowledge. This, on the other hand, is condescending and shows that you think very little of the recipient and way too highly of yourself. You have no other friends now. Telling someone to put a lid on their emotions on account of being overly sensitive is the worst. It's not a good idea to invalidate the feelings of others. " Just talk about your son whenever you feel like.".