My caddy says I should use a hard 7. My drives aren't always long and straight.. but I can show you what is! Ben Hogan. Sometimes a good joke can lighten up the mood. That's mispronounced Spanish for cat which is another word foryou get the idea. One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. He always puts his driver in the wrong bag. The worst club in my bag is my brain. Chris Perry, 42. Their expectation, however, is very different. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." Jack Benny. No, but I'm willing to screw in them. I was off to-day! Her husband thought that this was a riot and laughing said, Right train, wrong ticket., The wife failed to see the humor and not cracking a smile replied, No sleeper cars on that train either, Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course." What's the difference between a golf ball and a car? There are no time constraints, as there are in other sports. How I Lost Weight Playing Golf & Other Golf Benefits, Golf And Fitness Tips from a TPI Golf Fitness Instructor, How to Improve Your Handicap and Golf Game, How To Know What Golf Club to Use on the Golf Course, Goal Setting is a Great Way to Improving Your Golf Game, Best Putters for Women 2023 Find the Best Ladies Putters, Black Friday and Cyber Monday Golf Discounts. See more ideas about golf quotes funny, golf, golf quotes. I chipped in from the rough! Required fields are marked *. They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken. Ray Floyd, 41. Would you mind being treated like a green that I'm 140 yards away from, holding my pitching wedge with very little wind in any direction? James Murray, Enjoyment of golf, regardless of the level you play at, is primarily based on how closely you play to your level of ability. These quotes and images about funny golf are the truest, wisest, and most positive ones to be found on the web. Kurt Philip Behm, The reason they call it golf is that all the other 4 letter words were used up. Pretty is as pretty does. Harvey Penick, 61. A golfer has to train his swing on the practice tee, then trust it on the course. Dr. Bob Rotella, 49. Wanna be my caddy? Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "Its golf balls." Steve Alten, Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. Phyllis Diller, with her outrageous teased hair and housewife caricature stage persona, was a master of delivery and comedic timing. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. If you drink, dont drive. Dont even putt. Beyond this, the comedian and violinist (an epic combination) made the above joke about golf. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); The threesome were curious what was going on. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Golf is a compromise between what your ego wants you to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do. Bruce Crampton, 63. 1. I bet that hurts a whole lot worse than tennis elbow?. Sam Snead. Success depends almost entirely on how effectively you learn to manage the games two ultimate adversaries: the course and yourself. Jack Nicklaus, 45. No other game combines the wonder of nature with the discipline of sport in such carefully planned ways. 4. Therefore weve combined it together and compiled these hilarious Golf Jokes for Seniors that Im sure youll like. And maybe thats why the highs were so high and the lows felt so low. What did Master Yoda say when Luke sliced the ball onto the next fairway over? What do you call a lion playing golf? Of all the hazards, fear is the worst. Sam Snead, 27. The man took a step back from his ball, closed his eyes and said a quick prayer. Dean Martin, He loved the game. Not just in the game, but that can be applied to life, relationships and ones mindset. Funny Golf Quotes You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do. So what's it gonna be today, Stroke Play or Skins? Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? If it is the dirty element that gives pleasure to the act of lust, then the . What is a golfers favorite bird? It is at the same time rewarding and maddening and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented. Arnold Palmer, 2. 5. Always make a total effort, even when the odds are against you. Arnold Palmer, 65. They have been there where we are standing now. Lorii Myers, Long, long afterward, in a whin / I found the golf-ball, black as sin / But the five shillings are missing still! Harry Vardon, There is no movement in golf that cannot be made more difficult through diligent study and practice. "You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember So I got that goin' for me, which is nice. Joe Tessitore, The least thing upset him on the links. Of course, after painting the Mona Lisa, you'll likely soon be back to bleeding. My doctor told me I cant play golf. Oh, when did he play with you?. If everything was given to you, it wouldnt feel as good when you achieve it. Annika Sorenstam, 24. Golf is like doing your taxes. You get bad breaks from good shots, good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play where it lies." Bobby Jones 23. Golfing Quotes "Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a -- Winston Churchill "Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf and you can keep the fresh air and the -- Jack Benny "You can make a lot of money in this game. To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly. Guys will spend at least 5 minutes looking for a golf ball. The mark of a great player is in his ability to come back. Days when you just dont have it, you dont pack it in, you give it everything youve got. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.". Jan 1, 2016 - Explore Uwharrie Point | Golf Communit's board "Golf Quotes", followed by 482 people on Pinterest. They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them. Bruce Lansky. If I learn that you are a fan of diving - I would suppose that your psychological portrait includes such features as curiosity, patience, and insistence. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional Full Text: My windows aren't dirty, that's just my dog's nose art! It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take. Besides that, I love to explore. I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. Gerald R. Ford, the 38th President of the United States and the first to admit a lack of talent on the links. The smile looks really good on you. When you hit the cup but dont sink the shot, its called Prom Night. Im the best. I'll let you beat me. Henry Beard, Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at. Basketball is a sport for black men. If we . Why did the golfer have to change his socks? It was glorious when you did! 2. You shot an eight. What did Chamillionaire say when he came in a stroke under par? Is that my golf bag in your pants because I just finished a long drive and I'd like to put my wood in it? You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. You swing left and the ball goes right. "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.". What's the difference between a golfball and a Nissan? Bobby Darnel, If you want to hook a ball turn both hands toward the right side on the grip or shaft. - Bobby Jones A threesome were getting ready to tee off on the 10thwhen they notice a single player, running up the fairway, taking a shot almost immediately to then run up to the green for a 3 putt to put it in. I stepped on a rake. Mike was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Youve got to loosen your girdle and really let the ball have it. Babe Didrikson Zaharias, 43. A golf ball can be driven 300 yards. Funny and dirty medical pick-up lines and doctor hook-up lines. "Damn, my shaft is all bent." If you worry about the ones you missed, you are going to keep missing them. Walter Hagen, 47. Don Adams, Theres an old saying in golf that when the wind blows the men are separated from the boys. John excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: Hey Don, come here. Because they might get a slice. Dave Barry, If you drink, dont drive. Where is the best place to go on vacation? 19. Jack Lemmon is probably remembered best for his roles in The Odd Couple and The Apartment. Unfortunately, it stopped three inches short of the hole dead on line. How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? How would you like to do something I won't do for anyone on the PGA tour? Choose Concentrate on the one fault you want to overcome. Sam Snead, 55. Ian Fleming, I drove a golf ball into the air / It fell to earth, I knew not where / For, so swiftly it flew, the sight / Could not follow it in its flight. Or on top." "I have lovemaking with you a lot in my head." "Let's have a 'who's better in b3d' contest. The battle that raged inside each players head. clubs. How far do you hit it? said Palmer. You look like you'd be a great ball-washer. Golf Skirts & Golf Skorts Stylish, Fun & Comfortable. They expect to succeed! No matter how badly you play, always remember its possible to play even worse. 7. The Dalai Lama himself. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly or start cheating. I have been able to hope for the best, expect the worst, and take what comes along. You will find the quotes being used everywhere, coming from ordinary people like us, who are just famous. happen again! Of course, says the old man, when I was your age, that tree was only three feet tall.. All through the night they made wild love together. Ben Hogan, To find a mans true character, play golf with him. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart." - Arthur Daley. Dirty Golf Pick Up Lines; Dirty Music Pick Up Lines; Dirty Holiday Pick Up Lines; Why dont grasshoppers play golf? A bad hole wont get you a slap across the face when you play golf. How do you know you should be a golfer? - Mickey Mantle. 23+ Revolutionary Sayings From Corrie Ten Boom | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 52+ Knowledgeable Sayings On Cosmetologist | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 43+ Motivating Sayings On Hungry | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, TOP 50 Inspirational Golf Quotes & Sayings | Download Images, 58+ Funny Tennis Quotes | Free Images & Pictures Download, TOP 50 Funny Sports Quotes | HD Images & Pictures Download. Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. "Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off." Bruce Lansky 15 of 50 Scott Halleran/Getty Images "On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. Ive played the game for 50 years and I still havent the slightest idea of how to play. Gary Player, 39. Big pupils lead to big scores. Keep your head down. Why are there 18 holes on a golf course? Id cry too if I played golf like you. Whats the difference between the g-spot and a golf ball? Roarin' Mcllroy You hit down to make the ball go up. You are slightly ashamed of what you have done and worst of all you know it will What are a golfers favorite flowers? It took one afternoon on the golf course. Hank Aaron, owner of 755 home runs and one amazing golf quote. Sam Snead, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Were done with golf puns and jokes, but well leave you with a bonus the top 10 not actually dirty golf innuendos: What are some of your favorite golf puns? Why didnt the golfer get his homework done? Joe Torre, It is not possible to play golf consistently well without sound mental skills. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if youre not good at them. Roy Tin Cup McAvoy, the greatest that never was. / They havent turned up, and I doubt if they will. 19th Hole Bonus Quote: While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. "Golf is my profession. Again the announcement: Would the man on the womens tee kindly back up the mens tee!, Mike had had enough and shouted: Would the horses ass in the clubhouse with the loud speaker kindly shut up and let me play my damn second shot!. What's worst than Elin Nordegren smashing your face in with a 9 iron? Steve Bann, Theres a reason why golfers walk forward to their next shot. A man without a woman is like a pistol without a trigger; it is the woman who makes the man go off. Watch their eyes. So that you can share them back, with the whole world. That I am sure of will make your day full of joy! A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon are having drinks at the bar after an interfaith convention. If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls. My shaft is bent. Wodehouse I smile at obstacles. Tiger Woods, 13. If you think youre standing too close to the ball, make sure youve actually struck it with your club after swinging. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. He said. First and foremost, you must have confidence. "Golf is like a love affair. Ellis Parker Butler, When we watch pro golfers, we expect them to play well, to make the shots we know we cant, and to be entertaining. Why didnt the golfer finish his homework? That round was so poor, I think Im going to jump into the lake by the 16th and drown myself, I honestly doubt that. You dont know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket. Lee Trevino at his best. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it. It's included here because of the hilarious mental image it evokes. Because all the other four letter words were taken. Repeat until the ball is in the hole. Dont break your heart, but flirt with the possibility. Louise Suggs, 8. Why did Arnold Palmer get beat up? Golfing? You must remember not to remember to think. 3. By stragetically placing fire hydrants. Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course the space between your ears. "We learn so many things from golfhow to suffer, for instance.". You made an 11 on a Par 3 hole? Could you in the moment quiet your thoughts and execute? "Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. How do you "Tiger" proof a golf course? Oh you only have a threesome, mind if I join? On the final hole, the match was all even and one of the wives had a long, breaking, fifteen-foot putt to win the match. Like chess, golf is a game that is forever challenging but can never be conquered. Harvey Penick, 10. Sawdust City LLC. SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? I'm hoping to be a sore loser." Related: Best Ways On How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text? Another Ball in the Trees. Youre too out-of-shape to play in the church softball league. All he knows how to play with is Clubs! Or under. The greatest single lesson to be learned from golf is mental discipline. Louise Suggs, 51. George Deukmejian waxing prophetic. "Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.". Golf is a game invented by God to punish people who retire early. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope "You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. What do you call a blonde at a golf course? What do you jot down if you dont remember if you hit a 6 or a 7? now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); Hank Aaron, Golf, golf, golf is all the story! 3. A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Regardless of time, place, situation, event, or occasion, it is in our human nature, to learn and express. I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyones game: its called an eraser. Arnold Palmer, the King of golf and comedy apparently. Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty Full Text: Keep Calm and Go For A Run Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging, Full Text: Beware Of Owner ~ The Dog Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting. The grass is clean, a lawn laundry that wipes away the mud, the insect, the bramble, nettle, and thistle, an Eezy-wipe lawn where nothing of life, dirty and glorious, remains. Please read here for more information. when we were married," said the pouting wife. I give the ball some sweet talk. Golf is a compromise between what your ego wants you to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do. Bruce Crampton making us think more than wed like to. You can enjoy both of them even if youre terrible at it! When your golf cart capsizes. After some deliberation, he takes out his 3 iron and sails the ball 20 feet over the pin, and backs it up to within 3 feet of the pin. "I was married to her for 35 years." 2. Damn, girl. Here, have a carrot! So, I'm on the first tee with him. The means are as important as the ends. Dirt your body. We have compiled the best list of pick up lines with references to golf style, golf clubs, golf course, and various famous golf celebrity. Winston S. Churchill, You ought to take more exercise if youre inclined to have a liver. How can you tell which golfer is a womanizer? Figure out your weakness and dont make it your weakness anymore. Stacy Lewis, 60. Gardner Dickinson, Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. Why don't golfers ever eat pie? Whos there? Ben Hogan, Golf has some drawbacks. What did Sir Mixalot say after sinking a 14-footer on the green, saving a terrible 3rd stroke into the rough? Intercourse! Mar 14, 2021 - Find the best golf humor and cartoons on this board by www.GolfBallsUnlimited.com. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings. Robert Fuller Murray, Golf is a fascinating game. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. I'm Tiger Woods. Does a bear crap in the woods? GOLF DIGEST MAY EARN A PORTION OF SALES FROM PRODUCTS THAT ARE PURCHASED THROUGH OUR SITE AS PART OF OUR AFFILIATE PARTNERSHIPS WITH RETAILERS. Putter Around. 3. If you can smoke and drink while youre doin it, its not a sport. 22. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions. To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Is everything okay?. After 18 holes I can barely walk. And it matters how we go about attaining them. Get a Free Golf Handicap in the 18Birdies App. "Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.". Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, Its golf balls., The blond looked at him compassionately and said: Oh you poor thing. Theres enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game youre supposed to enjoy. Amy Alcott, 15. Leslie Nielsen, Mini-golf is a lot like life. Just tap it in. Do you know what the Lama says? I'm still working on my approach, but I think I have a pretty good swing. See photos about 15 very funny (and occasionally inappropriate) golf memes from Golf Digest Required fields are marked *. Golf is about how well you accept, respond to, and score with your misses much more so than it is a game of your perfect shots. Dr. Bob Rotella, 64. Rory McIlroy has a GOOD driver! Youre shooting for the green, and yet, in the end you find yourself in the hole. I promise to lick your balls clean and polish your shaft before and after each use during the upcoming golf season. Spread your legs shoulder width, that's the first step to a successful golf swing. A smart shot is when you dont have the guts to try it. Phil Mickelson, 4. What Is The Difference Between a Golf Skirt and a Tennis Skirt? What is the difference between Rory McIlroy and Princess Diana? Full Text: Are you hinting my apples aren't what they ought to be? Are you a Nike One Platinum ball because I'd like to see you on a T? Its possible, by too much of it, to destroy the mind. What is the difference between a fisherman and a golfer? Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers , Now, enough talking, lets swing this thing. course sometime. Two couples were enjoying a competitive, best-ball match wives against husbands with the losers buying lunch and a libation. Follow These Tips on How To Handle Frustration. Golf got its name because all of the other four-letter words were taken. nay I my child, and eke, oh! You may share any of these heartfelt photos with funny golf quotes without hesitation. I love you and I want you to stay with me., Woman: You dont understandIm a hooker., Man: That is no problem, darlin, you probably just have too strong a grip.. Bring some friends, and we can play a foursome. On a golf course, nature is neutered. Whats the difference between golf and sex? If you dont take it seriously, its no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments. How we get there is as important as where we go. Old Tim Morris, 6. Its good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. Mark Twain, the famous wordsmith who also said golf is a good walk spoiled. Enjoy! It takes a lot of balls to play golf knowing you're a bad golfer. I like to go low. Are you into kinky stuff? Clubbing. Why does the temperature on the course rise after a long tournament ends? Being a thoughtful person, and a social being, I find it very amusing to explore people's thoughts, observations, and experiences. After 18 holes, I can barely walk. Are you sure you aren't all four majors because you would be a grandslam? Damn, my shaft's all bent. You need to adjust your grip. Andy. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges Full Text: Please do not drop your cigarette butts on the ground. Don't dirt your soul. Lorii Myers, Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. They dont have the heart for it. Hey you better be able to laugh at yourself in this game, right? Short Golf Sayings And Quotes For Good Luck Shots, Funny Golf Quotes For Ladies And Gentlemen, TOP 30 Best Sayings On Theory | Free Hd Wallpaper Pictures Download, TOP 30 Meaningful Sayings On Sweet Love | Free Hd Background Images Download, TOP 30 Notable Quotes About Subtle | Free Hd Wallpaper Pictures Download, TOP 30 Meaningful Quotes About Volunteerism | Free Hd Background Images Download, TOP 30 Top Quotes About Snuggle | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 27+ Revolutionary Sayings On Hysterical | Free Hd Background Images Download, TOP 30 Favorite Sayings About Hypocrites | Free Hd Background Images Download, 92+ Meaningful Sayings About Hypocrisy | Free Hd Wallpaper Images Download, 21+ Creative Sayings About Hypnosis | Free Hd Wallpaper Pictures Download, 12+ Beautiful Sayings On Hype | Free Hd Background Pictures Download. What did the golfer say after performing yoga? So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? If you like football - I would rather think that you are active, optimistic and strict a bit. Ben Hogan, I know I am getting better at golf because Im hitting fewer spectators. Tiagra. What does masturbation and 4 putting have in common? Dave Barry, Golf is the only game I know where you call a foul on yourself. Happiness is a long walk with a putter Greg Norman, 38. He's the one getting his balls cleaned. Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. 5. Most Funny Golf Quotes about Daylight by Ben Hogan Funny Dirty Golf Pictures With Quotes. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. Which course gives Tiger Woods the most trouble? ~ George Bernard Shaw. Grizzly bear droppings have small bells, golf-gloves, sunglasses and other similar golf items in them and they usually smell like pepper spray. Do you know why the game is called golf? I wanna take out your golf clubs and score a HOLE in 1. document.getElementById("copyright_year").innerHTML = new Date().getFullYear(); We do our best to represent colors accurately, but viewing screens vary from one to another, and from real life. Ahole in oneis amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through on its way to the hole. Well have whatever Mac OGrady is smoking. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. With this in mind, here are the 10 funniest golf quotes of all time. Sick of the same tired old golf puns and gags? A fan in the crowd said Mr. And maybe that same element inspires the poets, writers and artists to pay homage to golfor at least lament its cruelty. However, every person playing the game has the basis of good mental skills for golf. What did the golfer say to the hip hop dancer? He said. Say what you want about the other sports, none of them hold a candle to golf when it comes to inspirational and downright funny quotes. 2. Ben Hogan, I dont play golf to feel bad, I play bad golf, but I feel good. Laugh more: Amusing Jokes To Tell Your Friends, What do you call a lion playing golf? Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting. Many of them contain words and phrases that are unable to grace this slideshow. Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. Knock, knock Make your partner smile with these adult golf jokes. Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work. Jack Nicklaus, 3. Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize, or laugh. Dirty jokes tend to be of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive. Although worried this will slow him up, the younger man says, Of course. To his surprise, the old man plays quickly. Boo. Dirty Quotes For Him "You can stay but your clothes must go." "Let's make love, then have a h0t dirty time." "I promise to always be by your side. As he approached the threesome, he said Hey guys, do you mind if I play through. The flowing robes, the grace, bald striking. 63 Archery Pick Up Lines for Bows & Arrows, 23 Table Tennis / Ping Pong Pick Up Lines, 79 Marching Band and Color Guard Pick Up Lines. To find a mans true character, play golf with him. P.G. THE MATERIAL ON THIS SITE MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED, DISTRIBUTED, TRANSMITTED, CACHED OR OTHERWISE USED, EXCEPT WITH THE PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION OF DISCOVERY GOLF, INC. 2023 DISCOVERY GOLF, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 15 very funny (and occasionally inappropriate) golf memes, 17 Awful (But Mostly Funny) Golf Fails from 2013, This new Top Flite commercial is sophomoric, inappropriate, and very funny. Golf Club Distance & Driving Distances for Women Golfers, Providing a Community & Womens Golf Resources, How to Build Consistency in Your Golf Game, Golf is Hard. She lined the ball up carefully and confidently stroked the winning putt. 2. no! Golfing is like masturbation, sex, or pooping?! I play Bass. David Brenner, For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Mike was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker: Would the gentleman on the Ladies tee please back up to the mens tee, please!. Missed the ball and sank the divot. Answer: Roarin Mcilroy. You want some dirty golfing jokes, we got them for you. The most important shot in golf is the next one. Ben Hogan making a joke, we think, it was hard to tell with him. All the fans are gone! Weve put together a list of our favorite jokes, golf puns, and one-liners you can bust out on the course, the range, or the pub to try and laugh off that 102 you just shot. Two rounds a day are plenty. Wodehouse, Golf is Not a great sport. Its almost a law. At the golf corpse! And it's damn funny. Billy Graham, Show me a man who is a good loser and Ill show you a man who is playing golf with his boss. A dirty joke is a joke that is usually considered inappropriate because of its indecent punchline. You either need to learn to drink or take up golf. Turns out Im not a good scotch drinker. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Steve Bann, It is surely quite superfluous to mention / To a person who has been here half an hour / That Golf is what engrosses the attention / Of the people, with an all-absorbing power.