I am so stuck on thinking who he was just a short time ago and how he felt so lucky to have me to just withdrawing and wanting to be alone, completely. There were times he triggered my trauma too, but I was able to forgive him for it but he says he still hasnt forgiven me. If your boyfriend broke up with you because hes depressed or unhappy, you can be certain he didnt make a quick decision. I dont want to lose him forever, I love him so much and I just wish I could help him :((((( please help if you can. My Depressed Boyfriend Broke Up With Me And Feels He Needs To Be Alonehow Do I Show Him That We Can Be Together? Hes happy when everythings fine and unhappy or miserable when he cant get what he wants from you. Rationally I knew the breakup was a good decision as it shocked me to realise at the same time I was also experiencing a level of depression due to parents being unwell I never asked for support from him, and felt constantly annoyed as I let his problem take the centre stage. So lets discuss what are ways to cope with a breakup. Just good times when we were physically together. The rearing environment has a meaningful impact on risk for major depression, and this effect is likely mediated both by parental depression and the continuity or disruption of the home environment. If your partner is reluctant to communicate, please do not force him. I'm so sorry this is happening to you and, unfortunately, you aren't alone (or maybe that will make you feel better). The very thing that gives you pleasure today will give you pain tomorrow, or it will leave you, so its absence will give you pain.. Observe his actions. Mental health professionals specialized in the field of romantic relations are the ones who will help both of you cope with the situation and derive a solution. Notice self-criticism.Learn how to self soothe. Surround yourself with loved ones. Thats why he started to crave a life without you and detached completely. Along with that, the article explained how a person can cope with a breakup. the thing was he could happily text me when he was horny or just for general speak. I met him online and things moved pretty fast, he was very loving and always calling me and texting me. They dont explain that their exes drained their energy and made them feel smothered or guilty for not being able to reciprocate their feelings and meet their expectations. going thru this right now.. a week in today and non contact with him im so sad and confused but also cant even begin to imagine what HE is going through this is really hard for me. I apologize for being so frank, but people with depression dont just have problems with themselves. Its one of those things that can affect dumpers in bad and good ways. Our last night together was great. And thats what he does because running away lifts the burden of too many responsibilities and provides him with a sense of relief. She doesnt know why she is feeling this way, she is upset because she wish she could give me a reason, she feels guilty that she is wasting my time. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. And as long as you are open to it, learn and grow with the challenges. She said she still has a lot of love for me, and care for me more than anyone else she knows, and that she still want me in her life, she wants to be there for me, and she wants me to be there for her, as we were best friends before being boyfriend/girlfriend. I thought our love was stronger than this, its so crazy. Take care! Hes just enjoying the space the breakup provided and is going to keep doing that until he stops feeling empowered by the breakup. Depression is such a condition which can seriously affect interpersonal relationships. But he almost doesnt realize it. People with depression (especially guys) oftentimes internalize their problems. From the article above, the topic My depressed boyfriend broke up with me is discussed. Depression is such a condition which can seriously affect interpersonal relationships. But the truth is that theyre only being half honest. There are many types of depression, but we wont talk about all of them today. At first, we were just casually talking, learning about each others, spending time together everyday, for quite a while and so we basically were friend, best friends. And he cant adult right now. I realised this was recent I experienced the same just a couple of weeks after you and knew exactly how you felt. Sorry for this long long essay, but it makes me feel much better writing it down and sharing it. Know that it is not you. You need to realize that a big portion of the pain you feel comes from an unprocessed past and that the worst thing you could do right now is to get involved with another person. Most people rely on external things for happiness. He told me to focus on myself too and work on myself and whenever Im sad to use that as motivation. But some factors may make it easier for a person to feel depressed. My boyfriend broke up with me because of depression is honestly not the only excuse dumpers use. Motivating him during times of distress and helping him follow a disciplined lifestyle may reduce his depressive symptoms. During the treatment process, be supportive and understanding. Sorry for the long message! And if you want to discuss your breakup with us in private and want a faster, more detailed response, check out our coaching options. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Taking a temporary job he dislikes. I know thats what your emotions are telling you to do, but its not right. Breakups Throwaway, because Gods knows I don't ever want to see this thread again after this week. You have to make sure your husband/boyfriend is motivated to engage in day to day activities as well as recreations such as hobbies, games etc. If anyone wants to connect and talk through it together, I would love that because none of my friends have been through this before to really advise :/. In these situations, a talk therapist can be great. I asked for space but when we do talk for it to be loving. I supposed telling the truth would make them feel even more depressed as theyd hurt their partners and bring a strong undesirable reaction out of them. Depressed Boyfriend broke up with me. During this time we barely fought and were super compatible--we were always joking around and having fun. Its difficult to read that he has associated me with negative feelings like stressors but it also helps me to understand how we got here. I was going to move there definitely with her, after we both finish our studies. You deserve so much better, youll be thankful that Im leaving you. He was crying while saying this to me. It's not my fault! Its difficult to face a breakup on its own but to also see the man you love go through so much pain hurts more. If you want him back then you're going to have to make a few changes. https://www.healthcentral.com/amp/article/depressed-boyfriend-broke-feels-needs-alone-how-show-together, My boyfriend is depressed and broke up with me (+ Understanding what happens), Excessive crying or inability to cry even when they want to. It usually causes them to have a more negative vision of themselves, so they might feel like a burden to people, which can cause them to distance themselves. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. I love him too much to watch him move on with someone else, that want him to be happy but I cant watch it. Then the next day he messaged me saying he thinks he needs to go back to counselling and didnt know what was wrong. Always consult your doctor about your medical conditions. When he broke up with me, he told me he couldn't be in a relationship right now and that he needed to be alone to figure his head out. The only way through this is to be honest with him about how you feel without attributing blame. He couldn't explain much to meit was like, he didn't even know why he was feeling like this. He also said that the breakup was something he had not thought about earlier, but since a few days only. maybe we can talk privately? His unhappiness had been accumulating for days, weeks, or perhaps even longer. If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write it in the section below. Its not just people with depression who distance themselves from others. And he said "yes..i know it's confusing". I am quite confused and im unsure what to do, how to feel, how to react, so writing it down ease my mind. Those suffering from high-functioning depression are often their own worst critics, and its difficult to turn that criticism off. Hi, I'm actually going through the exact same thing with my boyfriend. But now he thinks it is unfair to me; that he is unhappy, therefore can not make me happy. But after he went to the hospital that day, he stopped telling me loved me, stopped being affectionate and loving all together. Its hard to see that right now, but give it some time and youll see. My girlfriend is actually going through major depression, she also think she might even be bipolar, since her mom is also bipolar. like he used to. This can make it hard for them to be around people, even if the person, their partner in that matter, is supportive and understanding. Depression can lead to other problems, agrees Constance Ahrons, PhD, professor emeritus of sociology at the University of Southern California, Los Angeles, and an author and speaker based in San Diego who has researched and written about divorce. As a dumpee, you likely cant tell whether your ex-boyfriend is telling the truth or if hes just unhappy with you. A condition in and of itself is not a reason to . We are going to look for counseling and a proper therapy with proper psychologists that can give her proper help and medications, and after that ill let her be and give her the space and time she needs, while still being there for her at any time and whenever she needs me. We're both in our early/mid-30s and were together for three-and-a-half years. People may also start to avoid spending time with their partners. Why Is My Ex So Mean When My Ex Broke Up With Me? Is he dating anyone or talking to other women? Let him take some time, give him some space. He told me he didnt treat me the way I should be treated and I dont deserve that because Im an amazing person. Genetic inheritance may be a cause behind your partners depression which he has not got any control over. Why did my depressed boyfriend break up with me? A relationship may be affected in many ways if one of the partners has some mental disorder. As a result, he concludes that hes better off on his own and that he needs to run away from people to focus on himself. All the best to all Depression Fallout sufferers. Shes going through a really really hard time and that affected how she felt about a lot of things in her life. Is it possible hell come back to me when hes feeling ready? Our relationship feels like a burden to me now. It doesnt feel like it was time. And he believes him. Not only that, a person can become depressed because of the imbalance of their brain chemistry. Through it, the person will relearn how to live without their partner.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_8',112,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); This process has its ups and downs, but while going through it is important to have your friends and loved ones close to you. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'psychreel_com-netboard-1','ezslot_18',118,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-netboard-1-0'); Through that, you both will learn the best ways to help and communicate with each other. It has been commonly understood that positive symptoms of schizophrenia decline in later life, https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/divorcing-depression#Helping a depressed spouse. If your ex is going out a lot, sleeping with other women, and having a good time, he obviously isnt depressed or having a hard time coping with stress. Its brought me a lot of strength and hope as Im going through the same thing recently. I wish I could help him, I wish we could be the happy us that we used to be. Instead of talking about it, he (secretly) blames you for it and thinks you dont listen or sympathize with him. He said he still loves me, but that it's not fair to me when he needs to be alone all the time. She is doing a psychology degree at her college, and thats how she realized she might be bipolar and learned more about her symptoms and disorders. Even being apart, we would call, videocall, text, watch movies together, listen to musics together, play games, every single day and whenever it was possible. He acknowledges the things youre willing to do with him and for him, but he doesnt want what you have to offer right now. He just knew he couldnt bear it. Financial problems and loss of job due to the pandemic. If you feel your husbands depression is no more tolerable and divorce is the only option available, do not leave them untreated in the mid-way. Ill work and focus on myself in the meantime, and will accompany her through this dark tunnel, whether it is as her best friend or her boyfriend, ill always be there for her and want her to be happy. A dog or a cat will likely provide you with more comfort and security than someone who finds it excruciatingly painful to help his or her partner get through a difficult time. Ever since that day we moved on to being in couple, every single day, every single moments were the happiest and the best of my life, of our life. He hasnt spoken to anyone about the separation and carries on like nothings happening. if your girlfriend is depressed, she probably may feel worthless about herself. Part of me still hopes he will come back when he sorts himself out but part of feels I should cut my losses and move on. You can tell them you are sorry it didnt work out, and let them. Do I just still treat him like a dumper?! Or when he really starts to realize how much he misses me and starts feeling better? I have been writing a journal on everything that happened from the day, how I felt and what my thoughts were in details. 2023 Remedy Health Media, LLC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. But leaving a person when he or she is going through something as difficult as depression is a mystery beyond my comprehension. Hi there. Be respectful, genuine, and careful. Another aspect is concerning how the relationship was. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. 3 days ago my boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me. In theory, once your ex feels better, he should once turn into his normal self. Following all the above advice, you may be able to treat the root cause of your breakup i.e. If you want to get back to him even though he is depressed you can try to change things up. Making someone happy is a difficult skill 3 More answers below Anonymous 7 y I am in no contact, its been 2 weeks. Depression works the same way. If hes the kind of guy who blames himself, he could also feel extremely guilty. And that only leaves you with one thing to do. We ended up being friends for a year, becoming best friends and he asked me out last July. A relationship may be affected in many ways if one of the partners has some mental disorder. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. It may help you get a new perspective on what happened.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'psychreel_com-leader-3','ezslot_10',114,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-leader-3-0'); It can be, sometimes, that a boyfriend that was battling depression can come back. If you try to show him you care about him, hell feel disrespected like any other dumper and want even more space and distance. This COVID situation isnt helping at all, it changed our life and hurt our relashionship, as we cant visit each others and our daily life changed. He said he doesn't know what he wantsso i said "so you love me, but don't know what you want?" My depressed boyfriend broke up with me (7 ways to reconnect), https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/divorcing-depression#, a lack of relationships or withdrawal from previous relationships, negative feelings toward yourself and others, reduced emotional abilities, including having less verbal or nonverbal expressions, difficulty adjusting to social situations, a tendency toward showing fake emotions, such as pretending youre happy at a wedding, a loss of libido or a lack of interest in physical intimacy, persistent physical problems, such as being sick often. A person dealing with depression for the past few months has lived through hell on earth. And just to be able to know Im still the person he wants to be with. Understand how each of you is responsible for caring for others, but at the same time, the other person is not responsible for fulfilling your every need.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_13',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); If, at any time, you see it is needed, find couples counseling, this will help you both deal with the challenges that may come. My boyfriend of two months became very overwhelmed with events happening in his life that were out of his control. Thing's just recently started going downhill, causing him to quit his job and to be admitted to the hospital.